DOES
YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND
PREVENT YOU FROM LOSING WEIGHT?
by
Donald
A. Cadogan, Ph.D.
With all the medical
treatment plans, scientific diets, behavior modification programs and other
modern weight loss techniques available to us today you would think weight
reduction would be accomplished quickly and easily and that overweight bodies
would be a thing of the past. But most of us who have tried to lose weight
know how difficult it can be. And, after a number of frustrating and
disappointing failures, many people see permanent weight loss as just plain
impossible.
Typically, when we
begin our weight loss regimen we resolve to eat only balanced, low calorie foods
and exercise routinely. And usually the pounds start rolling off soon
thereafter. Naturally, we are encouraged by this and continue our program,
looking forward to being thinner and feeling healthier. But then, even as
we bask in the glow of these golden successes, many of us begin to sabotage our
good efforts. We start by skipping our workouts or by satisfying our
hunger with "junk food." When we
realize we have failed once again to stick to our regimen, we usually give
up. Thus, we decide to quit
exercising completely and begin eating to our hearts' content. We also
begin feeding ourselves a line of bogus excuses ingeniously designed to reduce,
not our weight, but our guilt, thus making it easier to continue stuffing
ourselves with an abundance of unneeded food.
The question for us at
this point, and one being explored by behavioral scientists, is: why do we eat
when we don't need to, especially when we are so unhappy with the consequences.
Unfortunately, the answer to this puzzle is not fully known. But clearly
we eat for more reasons than just bodily nourishment. We know, for example, that
food is one on nature's primary tranquilizer. This effect can be readily
seen in babies who sleep contentedly after being fed. And the tendency to
feel relaxed and secure after eating appears to remain with us right into
adulthood.
Food can also be used
to gratify a variety of other non-nutritional needs. The majority of these
other inducements, however, appear to be unconscious. For example, we
"feel" a longing for something, but do not "know" what we are craving or how to
alleviate it. We soon discover, however, that eating makes us feel better
-- at least for the moment. Thus, we learn to pacify the feeling.
(Some people abuse alcohol or drugs for the same purpose.) But the inner need
producing this undesirable feeling remains unrecognized and unsatisfied; so we
eat and eat. This is one of the reasons we are usually unsuccessful with
pills designed only to suppress our appetite. However, if we became aware
of our unconscious motives for overeating, we could gain greater control over
our impulses and would more readily succeed in our weight control
efforts.
The unconscious needs
motivating our eating behavior are the focus of much clinical research by
behavioral scientists. Some of these influences have been found to be
uniquely personal. In other words, they apply to only that one person in
treatment. But it has also been found that many people share similar
unconscious reasons for their weight difficulties. I will list the most
common causes here. If the underlying need mentioned is similar to yours,
but does not exactly match; perhaps, at least, it will stimulate you to think in
the right direction.
NON-RATIONAL
MOTIVES FOR EATING
1. REJECTION. Some people eat when they feel
rejected. It’s as though they say to themselves, "If nobody likes me or is nice
to me, at least I can be good to myself and have fun eating." However, if they really wanted to be
good to themselves they would do that which makes them healthier and leads to
them feeling better about themselves, namely eating and exercising
properly. They consider it
unattractive to be overweight, yet they eat in response to rejection, which only
makes them feel more undesirable.
Alas, logic looses
once again.
2. FRUSTRATION.
Normally, when our efforts to accomplish or attain our goals are blocked we have
feelings that range from annoyance to angry. For many people, however,
eating reduces this feeling and allows them to better cope with their
frustration -- they think. In reality, however, they only postpone the
feeling, for soon they are also failing to achieve their weight goals, which
only adds to their bad feelings.
Also, when some people get frustrated they eat out of a sense of enraged
entitlement. “I didn’t get what I
wanted and deserve, so I will eat some tasty junk food just because I want to,
and nobody can stop me.
Once again: Passion – 1, Logic –
0.
3.
SECURITY. As was mentioned earlier, food can create feelings of
security. This is especially true for foods high in carbohydrates, such as
ice cream or, especially, chocolate, which boosts our spirits by facilitating
the release of mood elevating or stress calming neurohormones. Such foods can
temporarily lift us out of depression and even satisfy our natural desire for
intimacy with others. Some
people literally substitute food for friends. Unfortunately, these good feelings are
short lived especially in people who desire social contact and are trying to
reduce because they believe their overweight appearance makes them less socially
acceptable.
4. REWARD.
Many people celebrate their successes by eating, as can be seen in the
widespread use of feasts and banquets. They usually feel their
accomplishments or good fortunes entitle them to consume food that is basically
unneeded and often unhealthy. However, those of us trying to lose weight
would do better remembering that achieving our weight goal is also a reward we
are entitled to. It is also true for some people that an unconscious need
to be punished for real or imagined failings can motivate them to overeat and
thereby prevent them from achieving their weight objectives.
5. FEAR OF
SUCCESS. This is a broad area that includes the fear of changing or
becoming different, the fear of surpassing one's parents or other venerated role
models, the fear of getting too close to others, and the fear of becoming
attractive and of being unable to handle the attention, advances or reactions of
others. Some people actually disdain even compliments they might receive
for succeeding in their weight loss efforts. They believe the good wishes and
congratulations will commit them to a body weight they fear they cannot
maintain. This will then draw attention to their weight control failure and,
they believe, expose them to ridicule.
Some of these concerns have deep roots and often need professional
attention.
6.
REBELLIOUSNESS. Although they overtly desire weight loss, many individuals
unconsciously reject this ideal because it was pushed on them by their parents
or by other controlling people in their lives. Thus, overriding their wish
to reduce is the desire to stubbornly resist the control of others. Hostile feelings underlie and sabotage
their weight loss efforts. The more others try to help them with persuasive
arguments or pressure, the more unsuccessful they are likely to
be.
There is a little of
all these qualities in most of us. As long as it is small, however, it
probably will not interfere with your weight loss plans. But if you
continually fall short of your goals, you may wish to look more carefully at
these areas. The following short quiz may help you pinpoint any
unconscious influences that may be fighting you.
Please note, the quiz
is not definitive, but it should aid you in your health
efforts.
Circle T (true) or F
(false) for each of the following questions, but answer with the first thought
that comes to your mind. Your quick responses will more readily tap your
unconscious thoughts. Dwelling on any question too long can produce
interference from your conscious mind. When you have finished, go back and
consider your answers in more detail. Your new knowledge can strengthen your
weight control efforts. You may also benefit from discussing your answers
with an understanding person such as a good friend or someone with weight
concerns similar to your own.
1. You eat when
you feel rejected or uncared about.
T
F
2. You eat when
you feel frustrated or angry.
T
F
3. You eat in
order to feel more secure or to “comfort” yourself.
T
F
4. You reward
yourself with food.
T
F
5. You sometimes
punish yourself by overeating.
T
F
6. You use food
to satisfy your sexual appetite.
T
F
7. You identify
with or model yourself after an overweight person in your life.
T
F
8. You believe
you must “clean your plate” because wasting food is bad.
T
F
9. You use your
overweight condition as an alibi of some kind.
T
F
10. You avoid
loosing excessive weight in order to rebel against authority or social
pressure. T
F
11. You use your
excessive weight to intimidate or to avoid
others.
T
F
12. You are
unable to picture yourself looking slim.
T
F
RESULTS
If you circled T
(true) on any answer, your unconscious mind may be negatively affecting your
eating behavior. The more T responses you had the greater unconscious
influence you have. However, since non-rational forces influence most of
us to some extent, two or three T answers can be considered
normal.
The needs uncovered by
questions 1,2, 3, 6, 9, 10 and 11 refer largely to interpersonal relationship
issues. If you answered T to one of these questions, any improvement you make in
your close relationships could result in increased feelings of happiness and
decreased urges for food.
The other questions
(4, 5, 7, 8, and 12) refer mostly to inner needs. These desires stem more
from personal habits, beliefs, and your degree of self-acceptance. You can
usually overcome influences from these areas by directly refuting any
self-defeating ideas you may have in these areas. But you must also consciously refuse to
act on your faulty beliefs and habits. For example, if you have always been
overweight, you may believe that you are destined to be this way and that you
cannot lose weight. But by not trying to lose weight you are acting on
your self-defeating beliefs and reinforcing them. People have also been
able to refute such notions by picturing themselves as slim, focusing on their
successes, and acting as though they could lose weight by eating and exercising
properly.
Many people have also
found that involvement in weight discussion groups can be helpful in both
areas.
At this point you are
probably better aware of some of the unconscious factors effecting your eating
patterns. Hopefully, you are also
better prepared to control them. The decision to loose weight is one only
you can make. If you choose to eat less, exercise and, thus, shed those extra
pounds, I wish you much success. If
not….well…bon appetit.